Half way through

Week 7 of 8th semester had passed, that means that I am left with 7 more weeks to enjoy my university life. 7 weeks after this I am a total independent adult, well it's not that I am never an adult but, this is like major shift in life. STUDENT ie free and easy, not so much of work load, can skip, opps i mean if you really sick then you need not take MC. (*really sick*) Yeah, we fall sick quite often as a student. WORKING ADULT ie work stress, work stress, work stress. Your working time 8-5pm, but you cannot go back at 5pm, why???? Cause it's just it. And even if you fall sick, no man, no MC.sob...sob...

But it's rather a mixed feeling for me, excited but anxious, nervous all mixed up. Now, I am stucked with tons and tons of assignments and projects. Been having insomia for few weeks, don't really know what is the reason. Sometimes, I feel that I just worried too much, I know that, and i want to chill down but the anxiousness is like my inborn attributes. I am coping to handle stress the correct way, and NO Evin, not by shopping and buying loads of shoes. Somehow I feel things always fall onto the place they are suppose to be; relationship, friends, love, career...It's all written up there. ;)

Result is OUT...

This is madness, the semester result is out so as the pervious i went to the website to check my result.

And i got 4 FLAT, yes you herd me right 4 flat, just that mine is all B+... Somehow i found it hillarious, seriously, well i was a little nervous when i thought about it but when i got the result i could hardly believe it.

I laugh my heart out.....

What actually determines my grades?

All is undercover like Sherlock Holmes solving his case, because you can be getting good marks for the 2 tests before and when it comes to your final grade it sucks like hell!
And tiada sebarang surat-menyurat atau rayuan akan dilayan atau diterima.
The staffs there will stare at you like some kind of hungry hawk, if you ever asked them.

Hell ya.....

So now i have ( or rather need) to fight for the final semester... so that i can grad with my own satisfaction, regardless what others feel about scoring in exams, personally i feel it's depends on each person's view.

You want it, work for it.
You don't want it, buzz off.
You don't care about it, then DON'T mention it.
Understood!!!???
It's all crystal clear...

Hell i miss A...(i sound so kiasu, right?)

yes man, yes man, yes man (my post-syndrom from watching YES MAN)

The chapter of my 7th semester had finally came to the end, but there was not a great relief from it. It's more like "Ok, fine this is over so what is next?"

Many of us(the final year students) came to disbelief that the semester had ended, and time seemed to speed so fast that sometimes we lost track of it. Many take for granted for the things we had, but that how life goes, right?

This is THE final LONG break that I am going to have, i felt a little dread, i am approaching the WORKING life that many had whined about. Some even warned us to enjoy our university lives as there is no more ultimate fun during working life.

I am still searching for the direction in my life, so many things i want to do in life, but sometimes, i am just scared of the unknown. I know i shouldn't, but after all i am only human. Feeling and emotion sometimes tend to conquer my mind. The heart and head are always arguing. What is right? What is wrong?...

I guess i will know when the time comes. When the time comes all would fall in the correct place, all seemed so prefect and wonderful.

At least i would like to put it that way...

Lyrics to On My Way Here :
Clay Aiken

I took my first step

On that black and white kitchen floor

I sometimes wonder if that house

Is even there, anymore

I had my first glimpse of love

When I was five

I watched two people split apart

But still the three of us survived

I've seen the best

I've seen the worst

I wouldn't change what

I've been through

I've touched the sky

I've hit the wall

But I did what I had to

On my way here

Where I am now

I've learned to fly

I have to want to leave the ground

I've fallen hard

But I've been loved

And in the end it all works out

My faith has conquered fear

On my way here.

My address has changed

Almost every year

I've found that standing still

Can quickly make a lifetime disappear

I'd rather try and fail

A thousand times denied

And this, whenever you feel pain

It lets you know that you're alive

I've been a fool

I've been afraid

I've been loved

I've been lied to

I've been wrong

And I've been right

I stood up when I had to

On my way here

Where I am now

I've learned to fly

I have to want to leave the ground

I've fallen hard

But I've been loved

And in the end it all works out

My faith has conquered fear

On my way here.

No guarantees

I believed that

I would find

An open door or a light

To lead me to the other side

I guess that is why

On my way here

Where I am now

I've learned to fly

I have to want to leave the ground

I've fallen hard

But I've been loved

And in the end it all works out

My faith has conquered fear

On my way here

Save the Cheerleader, save Milo..

Hectic week it has been.. Having marathon of TESTS this week, gosh...after finished i still felt stress with my FYP. This will last forever!

Yesterday, went to watch Pathology, the attraction point that drew me to the movie was Milo Ventimiglia....., the guy from Heroes.( Hearthrob)..

I have high expectation on him judging from his great acting skill in Heroes. When, the movie started i was like Yeah, Milo...Luv it......then when the as the movie progressed, it was a let down. This may cause by the censorship of the movie that make left me in the dark what had happened in the scene.

The plot is rather weak, and there are just TOO much of UN-necessary of killing. It's like kill here, kill there, kill all....duh...Kill and analyze if i should put it.....

But credit is given to the guy who played Dr. Jack Gallo(Michael Weston). He was insane-ly mad, well if there is such a word....ha ha....

The scene i like the most is the ending of it when Ted (Milo) faced Jack...that's it....

Milo acting wasn't impressive ... He is better to save the cheerleader!!!!

But it's okay...i still luv him..haha...

well maybe i should stay away from Horror flicks....

Eruption

Oh Goshhhh....I am rushing for my FYP, yet i still have no "mood" yet to study...Arghh...the design had make me felt like exploding!!!! I felt like erupting!!!.. I know I should keep my focus and continue with my assignments and committment, damn it it is so hard!!
I maintained my composure when around friends but inside my heart is YELLING out..

okay..now got to study for test2 packaging ..it is ALL wordssss...cannot tahan lah...

Self-actualization

I had always prioritize others before me.

So much so that, sometimes I sacrificed my own interest and preference for other people need, especially my family. I am not a saint, but i really did take a lot of non-sense that my siblings had put into. I also tolerate with people around me.

But, last week it all changed. How it happens and why i dont know....

This changes my perspective in life. I must for one LOVE MYSELF.
Everything that i do i do it for ME.
I need to be SELFISH,
i put my OWN INTEREST before other people.

As i was typing this i felt "how could I think like this?", but i guess this is how things go...or i will lose out...

Final Year Project Oh Final Year Project....

My final year project is....."Design and Fabrication of Automatic Rice Cooker Machine".

I don't know how that sounds to you but it was an interesting topic for me when i choose it=)

Now at week 7 of my studies in this semester in UPM i still feel lost with the topic...well, not actually lost but the vision is rather vague...The reason i choose this topic is because i want to learn something from my FINAL year. All this while my academic result had been satisfactory, but i strongy feel that i am lacking a lot in KNOWLEDGE. This is proven when i attend the Finishing School last week.

Oh FYP...... Oh FYP......

Makan FYP, Tidur FYP,Mimpi FYP

ie Eat FYP, Sleep FYP, Dream FYP

me

What’s in my life that I want the most?

I yet to know, I yet to discover that one thing that will change my life, yes this got to do with my feeling. I don’t know what I want in my life, one used to say that in our life we need a direction that will head us to the correct direction. But I feel like I am in this huge pirate ship with a map in my hand, yet I don’t know where I am heading. The map seems useless as I do not know where I am heading. I am a spur-at-the moment kind of person and planning is the very last thing that I want to do. This is not a very proud kind of attitude I must say out, but this is the thing that I must change.

I will, for now I am still on ship....

All is a learning process...

June 28 2007



Finally the day i had been waiting for, the very last day of my attachment at PowerTek. I was here as required to undergo the UDP(Undergraduate Developement Programme).



My feeling is rather a mixture of all kinds;

happy cause it had finally ended...

sad cause it would be the last time i actually able to meet all Tanjong scholars. I will be missing all of them, i guess it would be very difficult for me to meet all of them, again...sob, sob...



Having to know them we had grown to be a family, and the friendship that had been bonded had been a pure and true.



So much i had learnt and over these two years i had became a better person.



I've learnt to develop myself so that i would become an all rounded person;

I've learnt not to have regret in life as all the "failure" that i encountered is just a learning process;

I've learnt to always be thankful to God for all that i had been blessed in my life.



I will learn and i am still learning...

DayS At "work"

22 June 2007

Sitting at my desk, i am counting days. The clock seemed to be very cruel to me, as if it purposely ticks slower just to annoyed me each and everytime i looked at it. I need to endure this atmosphere for another week before i free myself from here for good.

Maybe because i am just here for temporary, and i have already set my mind that
"I'm leaving, soon!!".
But i am not enjoying every bit of it.

There is Soo* whom i thought to be all nice and friendly, then all of sudden she "attacked" me with her "sharp" words. Silly me, being new i cried, felt very sad and wondered what i did wrong. I was confused why she said that i hated her!!! At that moment i really thought it was my fault.

After days, as though nothing had happened she approached me and talking so-ever friendly to me. It was not that i am very cruel as not wanting to forgive her, but her attitude seemed so FAKE!!

It is easier to forgive, but to forget, I guess that will take a LOT of time, definitely!

The office gossip was another thing! It was so essential here, without it i could easily dozed off on my desk. Stories from maids, children, to their own colleague color my office day.

However, looking at the bright side of it, i am constantly learning how things worked around here. Not the technical part, but the human valueS. I may not have time to realize all these things if i am actually working here. I would have been too busy. Their attitudes and actions
are like a "live" class to me.

22 June 2007

Values...

19 June 2007



Many had happened along these two weeks and there are values that I had learnt. Easier said than done they said. I totally agree with that cause actions speak louder than words.



One could easily list down endless number of morale and principles in life that one should lead, but how many exactly actually lead life by those rules in life?



I viewed at people having strong principle(s) in life with great admiration. It is not easy to hold on to your belief, when the world is constantly changing. I, myself am still struggling to know what is my strong foundation in life.

Because this is a crucial one, this determines where you stand in this battle, called LIFE.

First Impression

I was quite an observant. I loved to see and interpret what i preceived, let it be a situation that totally unrelated to me or maybe i observed a person's character. Guess what??? Human makes mistakes, and so did i.

There were so many type of person in this world. Everyone that we met, at least for the first time, is masked, and eventually we would get to know the real person behind that mask. And let me tell you how wrong one could be, to assume something that was totally unTRUE.

So tell me this, they said first impression was the most important and it was very difficult to change. However, many a time i found out that, this was not necessarily correct. Someone that maybe always smiling to you and treat you well may end up back stabbing you. So sad!!

Whatever the situation is, it is always important for us to stay true to ourselves. How we treat and reacted to a person might be how others treat us. HATE is a very strong and hurting word.

Don't do to others as what others undone to you...

pirate's view

i juz dun understand!!! wat would make me qualified!!! i tink i am eligible 4 it, but ... it seems dat i hv lost quite many things... it started all well but now it feels as i am losing it... i know dat i should turn a new leaf in my life, but dunno , situation in house getting critical... i am trying my hardest, it seems to me.. but i know i have to tink =+ve , i hope things will get better 4 me.... pray 4 me plz.....